Leslie Upson

Malcolm suffers extreme humiliation during his first week as a high school freshman; Dewey loves his first week as a latchkey kid; Francis discovers the trials of working for a too-permissive boss.

D.J.'s old bedroom is being converted into a nursery for the new baby. After discovering that a new baby crib is out of her price range, Roseanne schemes up a baby shower in hopes of getting at least forty $10.00 gifts, that she can exchange for the $400.00 crib. This plan threatens to backfire when the gifts are mostly homemade, or are otherwise nonexchangeable. After being unable to work together to paint the nursery without squabbling, Roseanne reassigns Becky and Darlene to throw the baby shower instead, but the girls are still at each other's throats because Darlene refuses to pull her weight, sticking Becky with all the work. Roseanne gets David to throw a "guy" baby shower for Dan with the men at his shop, hoping for even more exchangeable gifts, but that backfires as well.

A high school girl is tortured and left for dead at a reservoir.