Two Pints of Lager & a Packet of Crisps

Feisty Donna needs to find a boyfriend to convince her acidic mother, Flo that she is neither gay nor repellent to men. With limited men at her disposal, it looks like Gaz will have to do. Meanwhile, student Louise gets a job in the local pub as a bar maid, but will she keep it if she doesn't 'put out for a bag of peanuts'?

Jonny is sick of being 'Mr Nice Guy' and under Gaz's guidance tries his best at being a rogue. His girlfriend Janet's initial amusement at the idea turns to concern when Jonny goes missing. Gaz is getting cold feet over his blossoming relationship with Donna, especially when she invites him round to her mum's for Sunday dinner.

Donna inadvertently leaves her toothbrush propped next to Gaz's, giving him a massive bout of commitment-paranoia. Janet worries that Jonny doesn't fancy her anymore and buys herself some sexy new underwear to win him back, but Jonny gets the wrong end of the stick and thinks she's having an affair. And there's a new man in Louise's life, but is he more into boys than girls?

Janet decides to enrol as a student and is invited to a poetry recital by Cameron, a rich, pompous and thoroughly obnoxious student, but the evening does not go well. Meanwhile, Gaz is convinced that his sexual allure has declined since he started going out with Donna, so he drags Jonny to the local nightclub to see if he still has what it takes in the chat-up department.

Is it impossible for girls to be as funny as boys? Jonny and Gaz think so. Not one to resist a challenge, Janet trawls through her 'crack-a-joke' books looking for that killer one-liner. In a bid to stop Janet telling any more jokes, Gaz tells her Jonny has been fantasising about Louise. A heartbroken Janet summons a meeting with her friends.

The pitter patter of tiny feet may be just around the corner for Janet and Jonny. Jonny has not taken the news about possible fatherhood too well, but several beers down the pub and a talking-to from Louise later, he decides that parenthood is perfect for him. But why is Donna taking such an interest in the whole matter - is there something she needs to tell Gaz?